Sutra 1.33: Ah, Now There’s Advice I Can Follow

I have written a lot about the high (impossible?) standard the Dalai Lama sets when he expects compassion for our enemies. I understand that harboring anger toward our enemies, even only within ourselves, hidden from public view, is only damaging to ourselves and others. Revenge isn’t even a question. But why do I owe compassion […]

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June 10th, 2014 by Wanda

It’s Almost Like Polygamy

So, when I came into this marriage I was financially stable. I didn’t have a lot, but I had enough. I could have sent my daughter to college with a little planning and discipline. Now, I am in quite a bit of debt and facing putting three kids through college while paying permanent alimony to […]

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June 10th, 2014 by Wanda

Final Hearing but Not Really

Without getting into it–because I am exhausted in a weird out-of-body kind of way–the final hearing wasn’t final. The good news: 1) her new lawyer seemed reasonable and smart. 2) ours is also reasonable and did a good job. 3) custody is set. The bad: 1) the temporary order, which no one could find until […]

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April 1st, 2014 by Wanda

Being a Stepmom Mostly Sucks

First of all, you suffer the brunt of all attacks but are not allowed to defend yourself or even be a proactive part of the process. Lawyers remind you you are not the client and treat you like you are too stupid to understand the process and the pacing of these things. What I understand […]

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January 29th, 2014 by Wanda

A Shout-out to All Witches

So, here’s a belated Halloween shout-out to all witches. I have over the past few years gained a new appreciation for all women in various times and places who have been called witches, or the equivalent thereof, because they had a particular skill set others envied, were smart, maybe clever or wise, or, heaven forbid, […]

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November 4th, 2013 by Wanda

My Family and the Root of Loving-kindness

It’s really very simple, but not at all common. As I stood in the midst of aunts and uncles, cousins and their children, my parents, a great uncle, and my grandparents, it struck me how imminently kind my family is. Ranging in age from 2 to 90, we live in different parts of the country, […]

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October 30th, 2013 by Wanda

Justice Compassion Justice: The Dalai Lama and a Little Bit of Durga

This has been a strange couple of weeks–last week’s visit to hear the Dalai Lama speak sandwiched between two courtroom appearances–although the Dalai Lama is less like lunchmeat and more like some kind of exquisite ice cream holding together two chocolate wafers. What a quirky little man. And yet, he is a force. The more […]

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October 13th, 2013 by Wanda

Radioactive: A New Way to Be

From the first time I heard it, I liked Imagine Dragon’s “Radioactive.” It’s no surprise that the song is popping up as the theme song of all things tough, including football teams and television shows like “Defiance.” I’m waking up to ash and dust I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust I’m breathing […]

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September 7th, 2013 by Wanda

Alignment: Whom Do You Want to Be?

So I practice a kind of yoga that values mental and spiritual connectedness, as well as physical. The firm foundation you seek to create on your mat–so you can soar into elegant poses–parallels the steadfast anchor you seek to create in your everyday life, in your relationships with others, and with something greater than yourself, […]

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August 23rd, 2013 by Wanda


My boobs arrived while I was standing in the middle of route 305. The boy said as a matter of fact “you have big boobs.”   Like Zora Neale Hurston who didn’t realize she was black until she saw her face next to all the white kids in the photo.   Damn, where did those […]

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April 22nd, 2013 by Wanda