Your Enemy, Your Teacher

There is a fine line between vigilance and paranoia. A poem by the German-speaking poet Rainer Maria Rilke depicts that best. The narrator is describing Orpheus’ journey into Hades to retrieve Eurydice: In front the slender man in the blue mantle,/ who mutely and impatiently looked straight ahead./ Without chewing his stride ate the road/ […]

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July 18th, 2013 by Wanda

Anger Revisited

What do you do when your nemesis (never mind you never wanted one) is a volcano of anger that erupts regularly but still without warning? What if you’ve taken precautions, staked out lava walls (I’m imaging these are like dikes, but heat-resistant), but that gaseous, toxic, skin-searing stuff keeps leaking under and over? What if […]

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June 7th, 2013 by Wanda

Bullying: Not Just for Children

When I was in grade school, it was not uncommon for kids to duke it out on the playground, get into some minimal amount of trouble with the principal, and find everything returned to normal within a few days. In junior high school, I remember slapping a boy in the face who had grabbed me in a compromising place, and that […]

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February 16th, 2013 by Wanda

Jealousy: Uglier Than I Ever Imagined

Years ago I remember getting into my car in a parking garage and being stopped by an angry lady. She wanted to know if I had already paid my parking fee. (It was one of those parking garages where you pay the ticket at a machine and then feed the ticket into the turnstile on the […]

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January 26th, 2013 by Wanda

Anger and Alimony

I find it helpful to think of anger as the frustration experienced when desire goes unfulfilled. Desire is how we project ourselves into the world, and this is a good thing. Or it should be, if the desire is healthy. If the desire is unhealthy–like, say, you want your ex-husband to take care of you […]

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December 24th, 2012 by Wanda