It’s Almost Like Polygamy

So, when I came into this marriage I was financially stable. I didn’t have a lot, but I had enough. I could have sent my daughter to college with a little planning and discipline. Now, I am in quite a bit of debt and facing putting three kids through college while paying permanent alimony to someone to whom I was never married. It feels like there are three of us in some kind of twisted contract.

When my husband’s ex-wife sued us, she was under the assumption that she deserved a bigger piece of our pie. That’s how she sees it. She has expressed to her kids that since there are two of us, it is easier for us, so she should be getting more from her ex to help her. She grossly overestimated how much my husband was making, even before his business began to suffer. It’s like there are three of us in the financial equation, and she wasn’t getting the money she deserved.

Where it stands now, the law (the poor decision of a judge) has told her she is right. Because my husband isn’t making the $7000 a month imputed to him, I am paying her a share of the pie that first of all isn’t a full pie to start with and, secondly, which I am largely baking these days. It’s like all three of us are married and the law gives her access to not only more of my husband’s funds than the spirit of the law ever could have intended, but my earnings as well, otherwise he goes to jail.

Why I am teaching this summer and she is not? Why is my paycheck going into her pocket? The more boundaries I seek from her, emotionally and financially, the less they are granted to me.

I can only hope the judge will reconsider. It is so out-of-balance that to call it a hardship is an understatement. She is taking my money. It is that simple.



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