Disturbance in the Forcefield: Or Why I Hate Facebook

Everything comes full circle. So when this circus began, the ex went on Facebook and said nasty things about me. Friends rallied. Then she took them down. That was the fall of 2010.

Last week, she created one of those fund-raising web-sites, which she linked to her Facebook page with pictures of her children 10 years younger than they currently are asking for money to fight her cheat of an ex-husband in court, who doesn’t understand that she and the children are suffering and who is in cahoots with the family court judges. She says he owes her child support to the tune of $10,000.  Angry friends called us and couldn’t believe she’d go this far.

Let’s be clear.

  1. This woman received over $400,000 in child-support and alimony over the course of eight years and has no idea how she spent it. Both of her children could have gone to college on that, easily.
  2. We have paid every dime in child support and had to borrow money to do it. The child support was lowered because it is a formula, and when the numbers were plugged in, his monthly child-support payment turned out to be considerably less than he had been paying. She refuses to accept that this means he only owes her what the guidelines say and no more.
  3. The judge who was an acquaintance of my husband’s recused herself after disclosing they were acquaintances, a detail the ex fails to mention, although she was the one who insisted the judge recuse herself after the judge disclosed that she and my husband knew each other in school. Another judge, who does not know my husband, heard the case and ruled fairly. My husband is not a family court insider. In fact, as an attorney, he has been held to a higher standard and given no breaks whatsoever.
  4. Only alimony is left. It’s not a formula, but the circumstances have changed so drastically, that if it doesn’t get significantly lowered, it will be a travesty. We are borrowing money to continue to pay her.

Just this past weekend I was asked to join a Facebook community by a really kind group of people. I declined. Facebook, like many other things, can be used for good, neutral, and bad purposes. My experience has been that it opens up another reality or playing field where people can spar without having to face their opponent. And then there is the ambiguous nature of friending. On the one hand, it is good that a few of our friends are still “friends” with her on Facebook, even a few family members, because we get news that pertains to us. On the other hand, how ridiculous is that?! Probably they are afraid to un-friend her. She can be aggressive and accusatory.

So, I’m resolutely staying off of Facebook.

It occurs to me I should start a fund-raising website to pay her alimony.


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